Playing catch-up
It has been a month odd, since my last entry, and for countless nights, i battled with the urge to pour forth my thoughts on this blog. Because I felt so silly often, with the thoughts of relationships once again .. challenging my personal opinions & values.
but this morning, I'm just goanna stick my head out and write it through .. in hopefully one sitting
after a month hiatus. its pretty hard to start all over again. And with interesting developments happening all around me, it will be impolite for me to share their story online, but as a third party observer.. it leaves an impression on me none-the-less.
In the last couple of weeks, I have heard first hand, how my female friends are challenge with the frustration of men who have challenge them to wonder why..males
a) don't take the first step, b) can't decide to make the second step, c) that have interested them could be gay, d) can't decide if they should end the relationship or not!!
hearing the stories over lunches, made me wonder aloud, are we guys that difficult to understand.. are we so .. indecisive. well.. WE ARE. i think most people are when it comes to relationships.
Relationships ain't like ordering lunch. Most of us, would take on average 5 minutes to order their meals, what more a decision that goes beyond 1 meal and a possible tummy ache?
For those who fret why men, (actually the ladies are guilty just as much) why they take forever to make that move ahead or not, I'm sure your mum can relate with regards to our own urgency with housekeeping in our own rooms. We know we gotta do it, but its only when...Right?
Lets all cut each other some slack. Sure, our biological clock to reproduce is ticking/screaming and maybe our parents are constantly bugging us, "go out and meet new people" we gotta cut out the noise, and simple "STOP!"
Nobody wants to date the 'desperado'.. neither would we be comfortable with the person who gives us the breathing space of a zip-lock bag. Most of us who struggle to make decisions under duress, or being burden with the full knowledge of someone else's expectations .. but then again.. not many of us are blessed with absolute natural patience eh?
Hiyah.. what a dilemma ..when I'm personally interested in someone, I would often find myself striving to understand, know and appreciate the person.. so maybe I'm spending too much effort in a short span of time.. and things happen too fast (although i do many more 'sprinters' than yours truly :P ) Sheesh timing seems like one of those.. things in life that seems wrong either way.
So join me.. not matter what state of a relationship you're are in.. let's all breathe in.. and exhale.. slowly.. (and enjoy your surroundings while you're at it)
done?
next, I want to share with you a simple date theory that could possibly change the manner you approach dates, and weed off those "not-worth my investment" from those "keepers"..
The theory is simple. On your first date, allow yourself to be absolutely horrible. I'm not asking you to be a meanie, but if you're a klutz, then let it naturally happen. If you never wore anything else other than jeans, wear jeans on your first date! Of course just be wiser not to bring her to Newton circle and attempt to impress your date with your ability to handle touts, find a seat among the crowd etc..
Be 100% you.. warts and all. You'll be much more comfortable -> for the ladies, you will have that glow on you instead of the 'suppress' looked..for guys, you won't need to worry about looking bad on future dates. :P
Can you imagine the beauty, when even on your 'horrid' first date, you are able to get a second date.. The excitement and wonderful contentment of being accepted for who you are!! haha.. its such a liberating empowerment.
But I've been advised, that one should also display self-control. So guys, if you struggle with attention and keeping your fingers to yourself, I suggest you avoid the movies until the fourth or fifth date! Ladies, just don't scare him with all your insecurities and how great your ex-bf is.. was.. leave a little space for the guy to show his prowess before bruising his fragile ego ...
Of course for me, that would mean, share the fact of my broken body being held together by the wonderful grace of God.
If you are wondering how my body is holding up.. I have 3 words to describe it.
"absolute painfully crippling"
with that note, here I am wishing all a blessed week ahead.