Is bad love better than no love at all?
This was a topic of discussion in an uncomfortable seminar I attended a few months back. The scope of the teaching went beyond the psychological, but into the emotional and even biological understanding that why we humans accept bad love better than no love at all.
Today, I find myself wondering why I didn't take down more notes previously.
But is bad "love" really better than no love at all?
of course, "love" in definition here would be affection. Beyond the scope of physical affection, but with the underlying soul & spirit implications involved.
What's bad love? A love that is a temporal affection being inter-twined with lust; stemming from insecurity and the need for physical affection. I think the best explaination of bad love is, "taking love that isn't good enough for you"
Was I shocked when I'm learning that nearly all my dear peers are being struck with this dilemma? Honestly, not at all.
My peers and I are now at a new platform of our lives. We are embarking on our careers, meeting new people, adjusting to new challenges, broadening our horizons and most importantly having our individual values system being scrutinized in microscopic detail.
How can one person claim to be faithful, unless having gone through the temptation of being unfaithful. I think the same theory applies.
Every single value we hold dear, from $ matters, office politics, priorities in relationships and even the issue of sex; are no longer taboo subjects; but things that are being asked of us, one after another. And it won't go away, even if we try to hide away from it. Soon, the issue of mortality comes into play. I pray that I would be a decent testimony when my time is up.
Can we honestly settle for bad love, while waiting for good love to appear?
I think its impossible... Unless you get rid of bad love, how would you know what is good love? Bad love can be so suffocating, so intoxicating, so impulsive and exciting, that we won't let it go for the love that we truly deserve. And how do we live with ourselves, when we finally realized, that bad love isn't good enough anymore, and that we have been a fool, through and through.. sigh.
What is good love? Good love to me, is empowerment. Is strength, is inspiration. Its the kind of of love that would be patient, and respect the individual; place the interest of the person beyond your own desires. Yes, that includes sexual desires.
But, its so darn difficult, isn't it?
Can bad love become good love? I've no idea. I want to believe so, but then again, I have no experience to speak of in this aspect. But then again, I believe that...
"love makes all things possible"