funeral service.
today I attended a funeral service.
and I was the only one.
there were no tears being shed, I could only kept silent.
the service ended with the Lord's prayer.
-------------it was my own.
I always planned tat my funeral will be a happy one.
but today it wasn't.
today, I buried all my the part of me tat has been rotting inside.
My banged-up emotions, and my thoughts.
----I've only a very strong desire now, tat is for God to build a new heart in me. Like how God made one for King David after his repentance -----------------
No-doubt I sin, today, becoz I was angry. I was angry all these were happening now. But, better now than later? I wouldn't know abt tat, but I know even if we humans can rush things and screw it up, God's still in control.
the whole day, my face reflected my heart, cold and stale. Many of my fellow colleagues ask wat's wrong...but i was too tired and unsure to say anything.
I just wanted to be real.
I prayed and cried out..and God listened.
On my way to my unit's dinner gathering, suddenly, I had an urge to read. Not newpaper, nor any sleazy magazine. And for a guy, feelin rotten like i did, I didn't know y, but I ended buying a book entitled:'When you are serious about love.'
I didn't plan to purchase the book....but in a mini-miracle of sorts.
I did.
This book isn't the answer to my problems..It lies with God above.
But i take this book as a vessel in ways tat God can speak to me.
Reading thru a few chpt, I've been shown both of wat i've been blessed with, and with wat wasn't good about. In your face, and good. ( i hope to share more in days to come..p.s if u share all in one go, isn't it also copyright infringment??haha)
Interestingly enuff, I've been reading more these days, much more and really made me pray over things ...in greater detail.
I wish to end, tat I'm going to make a committment to continue with the discipline being with her the tangible person, being used by God to help me overcome issues, and contiune to strive to be the person Godly wants me to be.
Grace.