Being Idealistic

The more I spent time to reflect and and wonder about my ideals, plan and attitudes in life.. I realize the simple fact of another trait in my personality.

I'm woefully idealistic.

I treat people the manner I felt they deserve, I spent too much attention on what may yield little return. I believe in a world of 'mary poppins' ~ a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down.

Maybe I'm just numb and out of touch with reality. Although I have plans in life, I tend to sway too much or as some would say; "Shane, you think too much; esp for others!" ..this causes me to be hurting others, and myself..

I say this not as a boast, but as a pure sign of stupidity on the manner.

How then could people say I've maturity in any sense? I understand how the world works, how people reacts.. but the manner in my response.. is generally deem as .. unreal. ~ maybe that is why even after so long, many people felt I've not moved on in my life after my past relationship.

Although I don't feel define by the comments and observations made by my seniors, I stress on myself these days to listen and be obedient... for the mere fact that I'm too confused and lack the right mentally capability to handle the issues on my own.

The book i'm reading reminds me to cross the 'river Jordan' when it appears, but oh well.. have the rivers come and gone by? I'm painfully fearful of crossing at the wrong timing .. but in life, nothing is assured. Nearly nothing isn't it?

oh well... Lord.. please grant me wisdom that I don't hurt the people you've blessed me with.

No longer please.