a re-start
early this morning, I only wanted to bless her,
but along the way, she blessed me with the truth.
Yes, along the last few months, things had changed,
and I even till now, I didn't know when, but I dare not ask how ..
but, atleast now, I know tat her opinion of me has changed.
n its the fact.
I'm glad she didn't feel this way based on the past, but rather now.
Yes, becoz the me of now, isn't worthy. Haha.
Maybe I should really have kept quiet, I tried, but haha, becoz in someways things just moved along n bypassed me, I just had to keep guessing.I really wanted to know.
Yes, I feel the ugly part of me had surfaced, but now its out, atleast now, I know wat I've to submit to him.
Over the months, my insecurities have overtaken me, making me a pale shadow of who I was. But as I prayed about it, I slowly feel more restored.
I'm thankful tat she regards me as a friend becoz of my past merits..haha.
maybe tat's her way of saying thank u.
Little by little, I understand why she has to run away from me.
Why she wouldn't look at me, ...
but peeps, don't u need to feel shy about it. or even bad.
becoz, like wat U said before, people changed, n I've changed into someone for now, u can't even stay in a room with, wat more for life..haha.
I don't wish to speculate its becoz of peer pessure, my medical condition, lack of qualification or how I'm now tat u've come to tat conclusion, but I'm thankful atleast u're no longer hiding behind his name.
I guess those are the minor details.
Maybe its your often quoted, spiritual compability, man oh man, how I wished I had the chance before u made up your mind, but I guess for now, tat isn't the gamble u would take with me..haha.
Sometimes, I often lament about being left high n dry ... since the way u've behaved, seems to be pointing toward this rather than wat we said way back on Jan1st(u left becoz u needed to submit our r/s.) But even as lit students have diffculty in expressing themselves, this male, was like hamsters, that kept waiting n was confused when u reacted differently, n people kept saying lies n horrid teachings, I was so blinded that I pursue u for the answers.
I sincerly hope that u appreciate the fact, I didn't try to woo u back immediately. Yes, it would have save me from all the self-inflicting pains, but I didn't want to hurt u more.
All I know is that, slowly n surely, U've become more of the person, I would love to live the rest of my life with, just tat I forgot about myself. Emotionally wise, we've been more in-tune then any couple I knew, but...I'm so thankful for our love. It had to be u. Loving u despite all the faults, all the hurts..all the blessings, it had to be u.
Lord, I thank u for her. How we move on from here, Lord, please let us be attentive to your leading. Pls save us from going thru our own hurts again.
yes,
wat a difference a day makes.