In pursuit of happiness.
Early this morning, I had several incidents that took away the winds of my sail ..
Since someone today did mention that my blog is kind of boring coz I keep talking about romance & relationships, let me set sail on a different topic and talk about the pursuit of happiness.
1 thing I've learnt over the last few years is that the pursuit of happiness for each individual is a journey of self-discovery.. a pain-staking challenge to know what each individual values in life and what is worth investing in.
Happiness, is an individual's responsibility. Not your signifcant others, or even your family members.
You may be a victim of circumstances, or happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, but you still have one absolute. And that is you've the choice to decide how you respond to the situation. I'm not saying that there is always goanna be a decision that will make you happy, but there is always the decision to make it less painful.
The pursuit of happiness isn't just about being happy, but also making a journey of self-discovery and gain ownership of your own life. No one is after all going to be fully able to experience for another person the extreme highs and deepest low that comes with each relationship.
In this same manner, it is often common to find ourselves blaming others for causing us pain, and seek them to be responsible to do corrective action. But honestly, if we reflect it carefully, we gotta be responsible that we ourselves first allowed ourselves to be in a position to be hurt.
Therefore, what I'm advocating is simply this.. Your own happiness is your responsibility. (the repeat is of course for the emphasis)
Each one of us have this gift to make someone happier, to make someone's day or ruin it completely; but you're going to be really naive and sound like a spoilt brat if you starting believing or accusing every Tom, Dick and Harry for causing you all the pain in your life. Yes, they might have been responsible to land you in the miserable stage you're in.
A pastor once advised me simply, the person might have a part of the blame, but to simply blame them for it is pointless, when they won't be feeling your pain and misery. You can blame someone to a limit, but one must look at himself/herself and starting taking ownership and move ahead with his / her pursuit of happiness.
Happiness doesn't hinge on someone, neither does pain. It starts from the inside of each individual.
And applying what I'm writing, I'm goanna let what has happened today be passing wind, and not let it sway me from my pursue of happiness.
Just remember I may always attempt to be a nice guy, but don't push it. Vengeance after all is best served cold.
Labels: Reflection of life
3 comments:
- At 2:18 am Anonymous said...
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lShane your entry today is very obviously directed at me. Please don't tell me it's up to me to assume that. I don't understand why you need to keep reminding everyone that you're such a nice guy. And just to let everyone know, I contributed to Shane's interesting morning today. Well Shane, I think it's time for you and me to talk to each other in the presence of a leader and I've suggested Pastor Joe to you and I'm waiting for your reply. One way or another, we have to bring closure to this and the best way would be to have a spiritual leader covering us. This has gotten very personal. I hope you're man enough to face this issue by talking to me face to face instead of telling everyone in your blog that you're not responsible for the pain you've caused in people's lives and that people should take ownership of their happiness. You are talking about my gf and we both know what you did to her while everyone who reads your blog doesn't. And to everyone who reads this, this is between shane and me so unless you know whats going on please think twice about what you're going to say in response to this. I would like to bring closure to this that is pleasing to Him and I'm sure you would like to as well.
- At 10:50 am shane said...
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Arun,
If you're trying to discredit me or appealing to me online, don't bother. Talking about what I've done in the past, aint no credit to yourself either. Your own past, I'm intimately aware. I believe I've already replied to your text message yesterday. I would presume this case is closed.
Moving on, I have never had any interest in branding myself as a nice guy, but I've to make my stand clear that I'm not a doormat for anybody.
Sometimes, when one is known to be the accommodating one, making the effort to listen to others' complains, going to length for others, then after while one might end up becoming branded consciously or sub-consciously a doormat for others.
Therefore, that is why I'm replying all of these in open fashion.
In Chinese, the saying goes, you give an inch, and someone attempts to take a meter. And honestly,sometimes we just gotta to say NO.
The saddest part for me throughout this whole incident, unfortunately is that this issue with Arun isn't the only one that has inspired me to write about the pursuit of happiness.
The pursuit of happiness is a very personal appeal to myself and close friends that we can't allow our own happiness be dictated by others. - At 10:53 am shane said...
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Arun,
If you're trying to discredit or challenge me online, don't bother. Talking about what I've done in the past, aint no credit to yourself either. Don't be the pot that calls the kettle black. I believe I've already replied to your text message yesterday. I would presume this is case closed.
Moving on, I have never had any interest in branding myself as a nice guy, but I've to make my stand clear that I'm not a doormat for anybody.
Sometimes, when one is known to be the accommodating one, making the effort to listen to others' complains, going to length for others, then after while one might end up becoming branded consciously or sub-consciously a doormat for others.
Therefore, that is why I'm replying all of these in open fashion.
In Chinese, the saying goes, you give an inch, and someone attempts to take a meter. sometimes we just gotta to say no and stand on our ground.
The saddest part for me, unfortunately is that this issue above isn't the only one that has inspired me to write about the pursuit of happiness.
The pursuit of happiness is a very personal appeal to myself and close friends that we can't allow our own happiness be dictated by others.