Learning how to love..

Each weekend, each celebration,
brings me closer to the finality of life...

The question of what matters most, whats'your piority, your ambitions in life come under strict mircoscopic test..hence the matra; "size the day"

Wat's the purpose of living life in regret, in sorrow, when its only a matter of prespective ...u could be wiser spending the day being happier right?

If only the power of perspective wasn't as strong..For it guides our attitudes, leads on to emotions and the very manner we react in life itself..Is it a personality trait? well it should be, but its also an active decision to me, u choose your perspective.

I know death has been knocking on my doors, and it won't let go, it won't forget reminding me that I seem to be living on borrowed time, but just grabbing life by its neck and living it out; it seems to be apart of life now buried underground. For everytime, when I put this perspective in my life back again, its only simply deepens the emotional wound in me.

I miss the special person greatly. But alas, when I do muster enough courage, to move on and say hi, the blank stare, her no-replies; that I'll have to remember each time again when I pluck the courage and dare to speak to her. There's so much I want to share from the bottom of my heart before I go, but even during simple conversation seems so diffcult, wat more to ask her to hear my heart out.
Father time himself, isn't on my side anymore, but I tell myself one day; when the sun shines, it'll all work out.. But if that never happens, I guess, its just not important for the person anyway.
Even all that has happen, I seem bound to wanna protect her. As my ex-legal aide would testify, I'm stupidly protective of someone ...that's why I run away from the person I guess. From all the people that matters. Becoz, I think my non-involvement maybe the best blessings i can give them. But if they ever need me, I'll put myself out for them. Their kindness have already been a gift from God.

I wish to die with my friends, my love ones by my side...but alas, I seem to break away from more relationships than making any new ones. I guess, that as a dream, is best left as a wish...

Its no point crying over the state of your life, your friendships that drifts away..

I had once the luxury of loving and being loved ... I won't let that sorrow hurt, like it had before. Even when I'm alone, I know in my heart, he holds my hand thru the journey. He doesn't need me, but I need him. I need to learn more than to love God and his creation....Wat's mine, take it...for in this life, its usless to have the world, even the person u love, but lose the souls of the person's & yours. If u really love the person, whether the person loves u, U just pray for the best for the person.

Delight in the Lord. Amen.