My Life unfolding. ~ thoughts on companionship

a few things in my life I still struggle with.. since this is my little haven of sorts, (atleast that what I want to believe) I would like to just write it out and feel stupid afterwards..

the little thing missing in my life now.. is a form of finding close companionship. The losse of companionship is a personally great source of agony when a relationship doesn't work out. The two people behave as if they never met.
Its a selfish thought, but we all get into relationships to share with that someone more about ourselves. The REAL me inside. So part of sharing is to foster a closer bond of companionship. The times spent listening to one another, the joy of celebrating a little good fortune in life .. all that.. to me; that's the real priceless part in a relationship.
Therefore these days, I made the decision that I'll enjoy the companionship of who comes along, and if it works out.. that's great, but if not. I would want to enjoy the moments of enjoyment, and let it rest then.
Sure , i mourn the friends who no longer stay in touch, or the friends who were once so close to you; but because of circumstances or choices, things change.
I do mourn for the lost .. but when one door closes, we just gotta move towards the next door then.

Therefore, to me.. when in comes to romantic relationship, the primary desire of my heart is to be part of someone; with a complimenting personality. Its not so much about that great date, or how good the first impression the person may leave behind. Even if the person is "hot" can be so secondary. A clash of personality makes things so much more difficult.

its all in the intangibles. and working through the rest of it all together I guess.