Continued ramblings...

the last few days, I've been feeling a little low..
drained, tired.. restless even..
feeling little a little bluesy..

thus, I avoid people when I feel this way. Somehow since 2004, it has become a natural response for me; to withdraw and avoid most people. Its not as if I'm like going to avoid eye-contact with you on purpose, but I won't be hanging around when the group is making lunch/dinner plans. Or when you're going to tell me the most happening place; and that we should be there, then I would kindly muster some lame execuse and leave.

Sounds pathetic doesn't it? But, I guess; its one of the best manner for me now, to give myself some space and time, to reflect.. read and write/blog even. The last 14 days have been such a rush, and at times I do miss tat rush, but now that slowing things down, I won't wish to waste my time either; just spending hours and hours on the black box. Hmm.. is it normal to tell people, "oh, I'm not joining you guys, coz I'm going back to read this _____(self-help book), you guys have fun!"

Reflecting back, I'm really a crap of a american pool player. I manage to lose all 8 games of sort to players who were struggling to have their feel. I mean if I played well and lose which happened only in 1/2 game, I wouldn't feel so crap. But gosh, you should see how I played.
My bowling arm seems to be getting worst, with my torn tissue in my right forarm ever such a painful reminder. Soccer is going to be rusty, badminton is going to be tough since I don't really have a playing racket ( i broke the last 2 in quick succession)..

oh my lady love ? Where are you.. ( don't worry I'm not writing about any of the Ex(s), or anyone in particular) Will you find me one day?

Its really a stretch of faith for me to even open up my heart to believe in true love with someone.. with all the recent observations and thoughts of various relationships..

Inch by inch, it seems I'm getting more ready for a relationship; but miles and miles I realize I'm apart for that someone I can be faithful, loving to..

Quit playing the games of the heart.

Its time to step up once again. That's life aint' it ?