Life in check

Time to do another check!

Love life - non-existant
Work Life- growing! 12 hours a day & counting
Spiritual Life- growing n learning that its not discipline but obedience needed
Finanical Life- can be so much better!!!
Health life - its improving.. though i wish insurance agents would believe it!!

Ramblings on love..
Its funny how that mutual friends have to be so careful when inviting a former couple for a happy occasion. Well, I really don't know what to expect.. I don't dread seeing the 'love(d) of my life'..since I see her nearly every Sunday in church, but most of the times; we treat each other as people who have grown up eating 'glass' ~ totally transparent.. It hurts .. but since this is the wish of someone I care for.. I'm gladly to do so..

but in hindsight.. sitting on the same table and not even communicating for what seems like ages.. well...it would be werid.. I pray for the uneasiness to go.. but if the uneasiness stays, i would go.. hmm..what's uneasiness ? well, to be honest, I'm most afraid that i won't be able to take my eyes off her. And tat would be so wrong isn't it! I would like to believe that we broke up due to circumstances.. but I would never know and no longer need to..

"Can't take my eyes off you." What can i do then?
well, I'm going to to plan an excuse to leave earlier.. and get drunk or busy to stop my over-active mind from doing anything stupid.. I don't trust my brain..

it took me a time to learn how to really love someone..

but to stop loving or having affection ....for the person..

well.. only God can release me.. the romance can be swept away.. the fancy lovey dovey things can be no more.. but that isn't love..

my love is imperfect. I'm so disgusted with myself that I still have love for her; but atleast.. i'm not lying to myself. If tat means, I've not moved on.. then... I've not. I still have love for her.

love need not be returned. but it needs to know its limits.