Sweet Agony

It is life demands and Gods teaching; poles apart; then you realize that the more recieved, the more you achieve in this world, the sicker and deeper in agony I remain.

What does that mean?

The more successful we can be; and not have our roots firmly in place of God's word... the further we can drift or remain in agony. Perspective of everything gets lost.

I lack perspective now, but I humbly have to learn to give thanks for the favour. A favour that I honestly rather not have.

I rather give up all the favour that seems to be in my way in my career; give it all up for what I feel is the most important. Immediately, the self-righteous me stands in my way between my relationship & God.

Its like me telling him, what you give is good; but not good enough. And I run away from it all. I ran becoz, I'm so used to pain, I just want to achieve what I feel I need most. I think I know better. And like a stubborn kid, refusing to give in.. I think my pride in me; is something I have to keep putting it before the cross. A cross that puts me to shame.

I ask not for your concern because; its pointless. Its the same with intercession. Extracting a pearl of wisdom from My highest for the Utmost
"People describe intercession by saying, "It is putting yourself in someone else’s place." That is not true! Intercession is putting yourself in God’s place; it is having His mind and His perspective."

Intercession isn't feeling sorry for me or anyone else. Its a firm believe of the work on the cross. Its unshakable believe of a brother/sister having the love of God and having the perspective of God praying and proclaiming the promise.

Sweet Agony. Maybe that is why I hate reading books. Something happens after you read a an empowering book
~ "hey that was a mighty good book!" You can't be the same after that. You shouldn't be.

And neither should I be. Neither should any of us; having been taken from hell's gate to live a life that was before. We're bought with a price. I have to remind my self that.. Constantly. At many times, I wish others would remind me too..

We're free... Free to experience God's love. Free to love. For our freedom; our bondage to sins is broken. But in return; we're a bondslave to Christ. Not becoz we deserve it. Or we earn it. Becoz, we've to learn to put down our pride...

"And never be the same again."