Enough of Rubbish

sometimes I get so sick with all this crap!
does it reflect a lack of inner peace in me?
more so a sense of feeling helpless of wanting to do something but with no power or influence to do so.

I gladly renounce the influence I've for its pointless to brag. I rather speak as a common fool. For why take a fool's words @ heart, but then again.. this piece isn't about challenging your perception nor is it about what is politically correct.

A blog is an expression of my thoughts. Mine. They're not exhaustive, neither are they fairtales. It could be coffee table gossip or just a tool of entertainment. I write. You read. I Thank you.

Read my mantle piece ...

to have the peace to accept the things I can't change?
How do I accept.. To submit to God's will.. or to let nature take its course..
either way, human choice of obedience isn't as absolute as it meant.
I believe you only know enough.

Cruel jokes are aplenty. I don't know to laugh or cry. You don't want to remember; it pops back. believe in accidents? I don't.

I work my ass off, to tire my body so that it won't think; so that when my head is place on a pillow, it'll shut down. So far, its working very well. But how long can I avoid, or banish the thoughts.
The simple humanstic longing.. is it carnal? its a matter of perspective; half-full...half-empty..

I wish I could be as suave as others, just let it go. Schedule matters, relationships get chucked aside in our busy schedules..and despite my personal disgust with it, I find myself no different; allowing work to be an escape of real issues.

But the Lord seeks my heart. Knows my every thought.

And you think I write this for pity, amusment.. For those who have the time and attention to piss others off, why don't you piss on me.. I've been inviting it.

Trust me. I may enjoy it more than you. No offense to the rest. You've been real, as much as news are impartial.(i think)

Soon, I'll get to celebrate the anniversay of it all. I'm think of keeping it as a day of mourning, but also a strong madate of God opening my eyes in the world of human relationships I've rather kept myself apart.

It is as simple at times as this... do you change the world; or the world changes you? Pay it forward..Take it first.. Choose your posion.

Its a bit of both eh?

But the bittersweet tragic issue is simply that I'm who I'm.

I chose to let the world sit on me. For simply, as a fool I believe in the truth. in the power of love. the power of faith to move spirits, and the stubborness to say, I will not let things just go. I'm a man that will go to the extremes if needed, and I'll continue to accept that I stick out like a sore thumb. U can hate the game, or the player...maybe even both.

But then again, my actions are completely whack. Stupid. Idoitic. Becoz.. I'm afraid what i want; isn't the plan he has instore for me. Look ahead. Forget the past. That's the modern day matra with wisdom in it.

They say lovers no more; can't be friends. Buddies that have drift apart will only drift further. The weak can't lead the strong. Rubbish. I don't believe that. I believe others won't believe. I don't believe its impossible.

Impossible isn't a restriction. Neither is it an adjective. Impossible is the limits of our faith.

I know the limits of my faith. i know only what I won't do.

Do you?