A journal of self-discovery

Let me share with you that thru all that has been happening, I've been learning alot about myself. My character, personalities, things that are really circumstances responds or values that I strong believe in.

Its with no pride that I share this, mnaybe you the reader who would know me could share alittle more to give me a better perspective of my 'branding' onto others.

I think I think too much ...haha.. But really, I enjoy a good chat on rather 'moody' issues and subjects that are well deem rather taboo..

I'm really a person that may seem to be cheerful, but instead philosphy and opinions really challenge me. I love to be asked to think beyond the realm of my thoughts, to read and appreciate the insight of others and their views.

And when it comes to work, boy oh boy, I'm rather a work-holic.. But to get a good challenge and to be able to be tasked for it is a challenge I relish...but then again, I'm also poor in judging my ability to handle the work involved.

I also found out, being battered blue and all, that I can't follow people's jugdment and adivse well..Its not really about believing them but rather, trust is vital but sometimes I get the feeling that I can trust u but still not work upon your advise.

Am I headstrong? Well, in some sense I guess I'm. I have done things that I don't believe and live in that regret for ages... Huh.. looks like everyone would understand in some sense, the feeling of dread and disappointment eh?

Thru all these, I believe my faith in the Lord is being tested. Being moulded, being constantly asked the question, "why do you love me my son.. Why do you still call me Lord, even if the sun isn't shining on your life anymore. ... "

I don't really know the extent of my love or respect for him, but surely I can attest that to honour him, to learn to love him and be able to witness to his grace and providence is the drive that makes me wake up each morning. The belief that since he hasn't called me back into his kingdom, there is a prupose to live out.

To live is Christ to die is gain,...those clear words clearly rings out loud onto my life whenever tears and sorrow keeps reminding me of their presence.

Thank you father for your goodness thru all that has happened.