Birthday.

Yesterday was my 22nd Birthday. And to me, although I don't usually show it..birthdays mean alot to me. Not the celebration, nor the cakes..even the presents..Although all of it, being very nice..isn't why I felt birthdays are so special.

Birthdays are like new year celebrations to me. Its a symbolic day, a day meant to celebrate your birthday, and also like another step...a new era...beginning.

For people with long-term sickness, birthdays also serves another beautiful reminder that God has pulled you thru another year. Its very meaningful. When would we know we could celebrate another time with friends & family?

Life itself, is already such a pain, why don't we really celebrate this day? I'm not saying in a self-righteous manner, but don't you think this is one day worth celebrating, to leave behind the gloom for even just a few hours...and enjoy it?

Now, let me share with you how I spent the day..

Fifteen minutes before the clock strike 12 on the 19th of Oct..I was sitting below my block..by the 'river'..praying and crying. It was a time for thanks-giving for me, another for reflection for me, and also a chance to keep praying for courage to face a new day. Kinda sombre way to start eh?

In the day, despite being on offical leave from work, I still met up with my committment to join the squash team in the tournment. I wasn't physically fit enough to play this year..but since I had given my word, months in advance that I'll be there for the tournment, I would want to fulfill it. And I did. I thought that event would be a half day event, but instead it was dragged till 3pm..Sad to say, the team tried very hard..but from 1st position, this year we got 4th. Disappointing it was, but guess not-one can go off in a winning style.

I drove down to Young Leaders's immediately after the event, as I too had given my word I would be there tat day to finish the marketing kit. And it was a nice pleasant surprise. They got me a very cute & sweet chocolate cake. Just the 4 of us. After work, I drove to Orchard to send colleagues, and also well, to buy cards.

While on the search of cards, I felt the sudden twich in my back. ANother attack of my spinal nerves had happen again in Taka. Fantastic...but I still managed to get some cards.

I was very glad, that I was able to pick up my dad from work...He had to work late, and for me, it was just a chance, to express my gratitude and love for him. It meant alot to me, that I was able to send him back, becoz it was also a time for us to just talk alittle.

Dinner was a family-home affair. Usually, our families go out to celebrate with a nice dinner, but due to a vehicular accident,any celebration outside would be a very bad financial move..atleast that's why I thought so. But I got to have prawns, and black chicken soup. That was a nice gesture from my mum.

I had an ice-cream birthday cake that I couldn't eat..becoz by then, I had already taken double dosage of painkillers. Thus, to prevent merlion effects, I just skip it all. I spent the last few hours of my 'special' day..battling giddness and pain...whilst 'guarding' my heart.

This birthday, I really had to learn how to capture every thought for Christ. I mean, I really do like to be appreciated..(who doesn't eh?) and I honestly do look forward to birthday wishes, not on an ego sake but..its just a blessing in itself. So to recieve 7 wishes in total was little flat. Haha. And to think, 2 of this people are childhood friends that I hardly ever kept much up-to-date..its really nice to know they remembered. The other 4 were from cell-members, the last, my insurance man. Haha.

I did get an annonymonus greeting on the blog..thank u..would u let me know who u're so that I get to personally thank you for it.

But what as it got to do with capturing every thought for Christ? Everything. Becoz, when I do feel glad that people wish me well, I had to give thanks to the Lord. When I'm depressed that several people I wished remembered deem seem to have forgotten this day, (the friends that love dearly, my heart..passion..)or are too busy to even send an sms...thus I get very sad.. I don't deny it. I even feel like crying over it. But maybe its my fault, that I didn't deserve it, for our friendship became so cold that well, I'm just never in your thoughts or reminders..hmmm...but before I could slip into depression mode, I had to go back to prayer...to capture every single thought to him. And when pain decided that my normal level 4 pain isn't enough, my body decided a level 7 odd trigger should be able to remind that even in little, I had alot to give thanks for.

Last year, was my best birthday celebration ever. This year, was well, remarkable.

Presents? I recieved a bar of chocolate, a home-made card, a belt...a tee-shirt. Altough I didn't recieve what I thought was the best symbolic gift for me this year, a watch..I still managed to give thanks for the gifts.

Wishes... I never blew out candles.. But I still got a chance to 'wish' for msyelf that the people around me will stay healthy & in joy...to own their faith and love God with all their heart.

Finally, I wish to end with this opinion. Birthdays to some, are no big deal. Well, yes..if its all about party~s, gifts... but if you really get the chance to dig into it, to appreciated it...the party would be so much more enjoyable with close friends, loved ones...just like on your death-bed.

Go on, cheers to this day..becoz this is the day, GOD chose to reveal his love for you, past the protection of your mothers' womb, and into his hands onto this fallen world.