Lessons on Love

Let me share this to encourage those in love n the rest..

I was born into a family that expresses love in each person's unqiue way..
My parents, for example;
with age, they've mellowed, no longer arguing infront of their children,
instead, they write little notes for one another,
kiss each other goodbye every morning when my father departs for work..
The way they love each other at times, seems so easy..
but truth to be told, it is never as easy at it seems.
But I see in it their eyes, their gestures, simply speaks of their love for one another..

even in my family, we may not be the most expressive, but I believe that we expressed our love for one another, thru encouragements, advise...scoldings.. esp at times of crisis, we're always there for one another..

so tat's the love within this family...
or wat's love in general...

I would think that love for another person, simply means,
that we can know of the worst thing, the person has done, but it doesn't really matter...its accepted, its alright, it doesn't change my opinion, my cares for u..

Its so easy to love someone when he/she is beautiful, cares for u, is brilliant etc..These are great attributes to have, but I merely conclude that its easy to be in love with a person's great characterics but never love the person. Or do we love a person, becoz the person first love us, so we simply return the love? Whilst I'm no expert nor fit any qualification on this subject much, but let me be bold and encourage you to love someone beyond all these.

Let me share with you my own experience to let you've your own conclusion..
but first a disclaimer..
I do think myself as a fool, for all the knowledge we can have, but if we fail to internalize it, to share it out, we've little wisdom.

When I was young, I loved whatever that pleases me, what could make me happy, such as Ice-creams, being held..being showered with attention..

When I was older, none the wiser, I began to love what I was good at, sports; quizes & games... I started to learn how to love the ppl who would make special treats for me, and slowly I became aware to love my family.

A few years more, loving my family seems easier, I began to grasp another type of love, AGAPE, a perfect unconditional love, but would this love make life any easier I wonder..What does it mean that GOD loves me, and how could it have helped my PSLE exams.. and of course, with puberty, being attracted to the young girls seem more than just being 'buddies'..

Secondary school, early teenage years, love became even more in your face.. Friends go 'steady'..Having crushes seem rather natural, everyone seems to be in the mood for love..Love in the family became even more challenging, when u're no longer the favlour or the apple of your parent's eyes..Jealousy even starts to rear its ugly head as 'competition' among siblings become apparent.
And love from above, slowly becomes more than a theological understanding, and it grows into a form of emotional comfort, thru all those days as a teenager being misunderstood, being left out..

Late teens.. and sometimes we become guilty of being inlove with 'LOVE'..and we hymn the latest love songs w/o fully grasping the depths nor the payment of being in love.
We buy gifts to express our love, hoping that our affections would be returned.. We grasp abit more than just loving the ones who care, but also the one we would like to care about..We may even do silly things to prove our love, and I started knowing that my love for everyone isn't the same nor appreciated by everyone.. I observe the payments of failed love, and the fruits of love fulfilled thru the start of countless weddings..

Post-secondary~ my first and only relationship. Finally, someone who was a christian, someone that I enjoyed speaking to, someone although at first seems so different from me, but none-the-less who captures my imagination, excites my mind with her adjectives, her graceful and kind ways..

Funny how that we even dated for six months before offically becoming a couple. I never I had to ask the formal question, but I never regretted I did. We were already friends beforehand, and being with her was just extra-ordinary different. Was that love, but I was very sure, and when I prayed abt her, I knew we would be blessed ..

so began a four years & half of romance, of learning abt love of a man with a woman..
we witness friends falling in & out of love, we encouraged broken hearts, we teased couples-to-be, we even witness couples who got together at a much shorter time, and tied the knot... no wonder, imaginary wedding bells began floating in our midst..

but what lessons did I learn abt love then?.. I learn to love a person, whole heartly, what it means to be faithful, to spur another person onwards..to be responsible not just for yourself but for another precious soul..To be there good times or bad.., to understand what it meant to foresake all others, if need be and be vulnerable even..so that the person can also learn to love you.
Within a short 3 years, we seemed to be inseperatble, sometimes we weren't able to distinguish one another apart..Our lives began to interwine and the passion from day one never seem to have wane..I learnt abt compromise and good habits ...how to express love in my own language.

But do good realtionships just happen. The answer is simply no.

Infact I never stopped learning abt love even when my realtionship ended.

Truth to be told, even though passion could never be re-lived, memories can be bittersweet..but love...itself is simple more than just an emotion.

These days, I learnt that my best effort, is to let her go & grow as a person..with others, with her spirtiual journey. I learnt that love is deny yourself but doing wat's best for the person..

I fight the battles of loneliness and nurse the heartache.. When I knew that she no longer would consider me a person worthy of her hand in marriage, I accepted it to the best of my ability..It hurt, it made many things seems as if they were lies.. Misunderstanding begun to make things worst..my dreams shattered..but I still love her. I don't know why. I started to learn to love inspite of circumstances..

I recongise my 'love' isn't the same passion as before, its no longer asking to be return, infact, if I could, I would deny it infront of her, becoz I don't wish to say things to her that would stumble her or is not in the best of her interest. If she regards me a friend(although she once used the word 'special' to tag with it-> how sweet eh?)..if she can think back of the memories with a smile & accept my love then..it would be enuff for me.

I don't think I'm someone easy to love, but just as I'm.. I love the people around me to the best I can.. I dare not venture into anymore love between a womna & a man becoz, I don't have the health nor the energy left to let another person be hurt in loving me.

I write all these not to express I'm a champion in love..If any, I should be a failure am I not..I do battle days when I would miss her so much and cry; get jealous but its ok, becoz at the end of the day, at the end of this entry..
I would like to encourage you, love in all its form is valid, its real..its from him above totally. In my humble opinion, We've never understand the measure of love if we don't accept his love, if we don't love him..becoz only he can show u wat's love..

Therefore if you want to know more abt love, look at the cross.. if he can love us the way he did, and we're made in his image, let's learn to love others the way he loves us..unconditionally.