I know you read this page.
I thank you that you bother to read those e-mails.
I don't know the level of concern you've.
Neither do I know what you mean when you regard me as your friend.
Is it because you pity me?
Or that your gentle heart just accepts me.
I visit your blog once-in-a-while, and I see signs that you've gone back to your happy life,
but I don't know how much is that really happening.

I know I often sms u silly things,
and I know I'll just wait for a reply.
Even if I don't deserve one,
being 'ignored' is really painful but maybe; my just deserve.

You said you feel uncomfortable when I'm uncomfortable,
I'm becoz, at times; u act as if nothing happened between us,
but sometimes I feel so hurt, that I'm someone seemingly left out..

Is it becoz of my silly sms,
or the fact I can't forget abt u,
that leaves u to be upset, or angry.
Even if its not me, I sense that times, its all my fault.
I notice your sms replies, reflects your discomfort with communicating with me, maybe u're not feeling well, or really busy,
or is it simply an act to move on to other ....plans?

Becoz of all these, all these endless questions,
it leaves me unable to socialize anymore,
when I think of the promises u had made,
and how things seems, that will never be the same,
I often curse myself,
that I deserve my treatment from u,
from being someone u love, someone u wish to be with,
to this condemn fool.

I hate myself becoz of u. I know u treat me differently.
I don't blame u, but I wish u would honestly give us a new chance.
Aren't u tired of all these, or is a rite of passage for being ex-lovers?

I know u won't accept my apology esp if I'm to do the same things over n over again, but if you would understand why, if I would understand what happened during our 'silent' months, maybe logically, I would be better able to accept it all.

I await your contact as promised.