God directed.
Last night this message came more to light to me.
"those who leave everything in God's hands will eventually see God's hands in everything"
Last night, I didn't plan to go where I ended up..I had no agenda to speak to my close brother, but we spoke. We shared, and by the end of the evening, I think back n I see God's hands in everything tat lead to last evening.
It wasn't becoz my bro affirm me or was specially understanding, but I thank God for using him to speak to me.N for him to finally listen to my whole 'watermelon' story.
Not slices due to time constraints or overly-explaining myself or why I did so.
N thru him, by God's grace, I seem to have an answer to a question tat I pose to someone dear to me.
Its amazing tat when you sit back and realize God's always there. I guess now tat my buddy has understood both sides of the story, and he gets a clearer picture than the both of us involved, becoz like what I suspected, sometimes words need to be spoken to reassure and clear the air among 2 parties. But for tat to happen, both must be in the right state to listen and share openly.
I'm thankful tat this buddy didn't jump into any conclusions when he first heard from 1 party, but when he understood 2 sides of the coin, he just understood things better, better than the both of us; WAT MORE GOD!
I don't know why both of us have to exactly go thru this suffering or cause each other pain, but surely there's a reason why God allows it! There's a reason why we've to go thru valleys and loneliness..--utter dependence on Christ becomes the air to breathe!!
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I don't follow Christian super-stars, I believe there isn't only 1 standard to solve our problems.. I appreaciate a great read, but I'm only strengthen by its principals, becoz I don't believe any books can be the solution..there's only one solution-Christ!
And I won't grow bitter,
I choose to believe, to always hope, to always love.
What more is it to be blessed, learning to walk in darkness with great faith,hope, love than those who walk in the light in 'self-denial' comfort.
Thus I'll be the fool, always trusting, whether you lie, whether you choose to cheat, you can't take these principals from me, becoz he showed them to me.
Don't preach to me abt killing, love or hope.I've tried, it only made me bitter!
Becoz, I'm led to pray for more hope, love n faith...in everything!!
I'm someone who applies the same principal of love, hope n faith throughout, don't try saying this works, this doesn't.

Love is about having hope too, hope is abt having faith..Faith is loving beyond measure!
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your tears,
breaks down my every resistance,
I wish I can take back the hurts,
n kiss them away, once again..

I don't know, what more awaits
what more sorrow
what more loss
n what more grace.

Nothing you can do,
to make me love u any less,
becoz God has bless me to love ,
everything abt u

regardless of hurt,
A part of me is still the same,
I believe so are u,
our actions betray who we really are..

Let's change our perception,
of one another,
of others,
of our love story.

Feeling alone,
struck us both...
ironic how things unfold,
but he's in control..

memories,
bring a smile to me,
future,
brings excitment.

No apology suffice,
no gift worthy,
let's seek him,
and forgive one another..

a blank paper,
a new book,
a new love song,
a new attitude..